My sister is not an antique. She is sometimes cranky, opinionated and usually stuck in the last century. However, she is not an antique.
Those few of you who actually read this column either know Janie or have heard of or from her. She is known for railing against many things, as old people often do, but usually saves her most acerbic wit for her three brothers. As Daddy’s favorite and Mother’s pet Janie could never accept her status as a possible antique.
No, Janie is more like a superannuated coquette with political views that do not gladly suffer fools and opinions which are of the adamantine variety. But an antique, not so fast.
Delores Jane (Redwine) Bartlett cannot be an antique because she still travels to Europe and preaches frequent sermons as a lay minister in several churches. Please be warned if you should be in one of her congregations: she was a college psychology professor and is still in recovery.
My sister may be intelligent, generous and of a happy heart, although she, as other older people, has endured some of life’s bitter slings and arrows. However, she is not an antique, as of yet, because, Gentle Reader, by definition an antique must be at least 100 years old and on July 23rd she will be only 80.
Well, those of you fortunate enough to know Janie and those of us blessed to have her in our family, know what a unique treasure she is. I, of course, as her much younger brother am just glad she’s a lot nearer to being an antique than I am!