James M. Redwine

Fountain of Youth

Hope Springs Eternal

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According to Google Search (sounds like gospel to me), the Fountain of Youth is located in Osage County, Oklahoma at latitude 36.6461942° north, longitude -96.097216° west, at an elevation 938 feet above sea level. To be more precise, Ponce de Leon Spring is at that location on the grounds of the Woolaroc Museum & Wildlife Preserve. Therefore, Gentle Reader, you can actually visit Osage County’s version of what people have vigilantly searched for since at least the days of Greek historian Herodotus (484 BC – 425 BC), that is, the hope for eternal youth.

Woolaroc is a marvelous creation by oil man Frank Phillips whose namesake Route 66 is America’s “Mother Road”. Phillips’ gift to the rest of us is an amazing eclectic collection of animals, art and artifacts. It is also only seven miles from our home, JPeg Osage Ranch, so we get to enjoy it every time we drive along Oklahoma State Highway 123 between Bartlesville and Barnsdall, Oklahoma. You can do the same thing almost every day; but during the summer the museum is closed on Mondays and then in the winter it is closed Mondays and Tuesdays.  Woolaroc (woods, lakes and rocks) is one of Osage County’s greatest treasures. It is inexpensive, easy to access and a rare concentration of great western art, such as original paintings by Charles Russell and Frederic Remington and original bronzes by Osage County’s own Jim Hamilton and John Free. However, for now let’s you and I return to the Fountain of Youth.

Ponce de Leon (1474 – 1521) was born in Spain and spent his adult life pillaging the Caribbean for gold while using the indigenous Taino Indians for forced labor. There was some small measure of justice administered when in 1521 Ponce de Leon was shot in the thigh with an Indian arrow in Florida and languished in pain until his eventual death in Cuba. Ponce de Leon claimed to be searching for what most people think was a mythical fountain of youth reportedly because he was nearly 50 years old when he married a teenage girl. In reality, it was not youth he was seeking but the location and plunder of Indian gold. I cannot advise on the efficacy of the Ponce de Leon Spring waters as Peg and I have as yet not come across the proper procedure for gaining permission to access the spring. We hope to hear from the museum’s curator or maybe order some bottles online. Surely someone at Amazon is looking for a way to market such a valuable commodity. My guess is there may be a fairly substantial fee involved for what Mark Twain suggested would be the proper way aging should occur, that is, starting at 80 years of age (we are getting there) and working backwards to 18 (there’s no harm in dreaming as even Merlin youthened instead of aging).

Apparently, the Spanish conquistadors were more interested in gold than youth as such marauders as Leon and Francisco Vasquez de Coronado (1541) spent what was left of their youth searching for Cibola, the fabled seven cities of gold, that were rumored to exist in southwestern America.

Unlike the French explorers, such as René La Salle (1682), Jean Baptiste de La Harpe (1718) and Claude Charles du Tiene (1719) who sought trade with the native Americans in what became Oklahoma, the Spanish had less concern with Indian sensibilities. Fortunately, Spain sold its claims to raid the area to France’s Napoleon Bonaparte in 1800. Then in 1803 Napoleon sold the entire Louisiana Purchase to the newly established United States of America for fifteen million dollars. This purchase included what is now named Ponce de Leon Spring almost next to our home. So, if you will excuse me, I am going to see about getting permission for a quick soak to wash away a few years.

Ponce de Leon Meet Kristie

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Kristie Hoffman claims to have worked for the Posey Circuit Court and me for thirty years. She says she started in June 1986 as a Bailiff and transcriptionist then matriculated through most of the court reporter positions. Today, if one needs help with civil suits, adoptions, mental health cases or juvenile delinquency matters, they should call for Kristie. As for me, I find it hard to accept Kristie has accumulated thirty years of knowledge and expertise in numerous court matters when she herself has not gotten a year older. It is only when I compare my photographs from 1986 to my image in the mirror that I am able to accept that Kristie did not just arrive from St. Philip, Indiana not knowing where the courthouse was.

Of course, the fact that she and Andy have been married for twenty-eight years (I went to their wedding) and have two adult sons does militate in favor of the falling sands of time. Although Andy also looks like he just graduated from high school. Perhaps Kristie should pay Posey County for the privilege of working in a position which apparently affects her as would have Ponce de Leon’s frantically sought after Fountain of Youth. I have noticed however she and Andy tend to look more like normally aging people when Notre Dame loses.

Ah, well, the rest of us can take consolation from the knowledge that Kristie will never experience the joys of aging. Is not there much to be said for the character building vicissitudes of changing visages and aching limbs? Okay, I guess not. Still, what will Kristie do if she ever does get old? The shock may be too much for her. As the rest of us gradually become habituated to the inevitable we can take solace that the Kristies of the world may go to sleep some day and awake eight hours later with some stranger living in their skin. On the other hand so may we, it will just be a much older looking stranger.

Okay, enough grousing about the unfairness of it all. What else does the public need to know about Kristie? One important distinction between Kristie and the rest of the court staff is she gets to work at 7:00 a.m. Therefore, if you need to contact the court before normal hours you can call 812-838-1302 and select option 3. Kristie will answer and efficiently direct you to the proper department of the legal system to address your questions. Of course, the court staff is prohibited by Indiana law from giving legal advice. However, Kristie and her three fellow court reporters are quite knowledgeable and helpful when general legal system guidance is needed.

All four Posey Circuit Court court reporters work at the north end of the second floor of the courthouse. Their doors are always open to the public. Sometimes they are involved in matters the law requires be kept confidential. In those cases the public is excluded. Otherwise feel free to call or drop by. The courts are always “open pursuant to adjournment” as the Indiana Constitution requires.