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Lee Corso

IU Wins

October 31, 2024 by Peg Leave a Comment

At an IU game

Indiana University football coach, Curt Cignetti, promised his team would win before he ever took the field in Bloomington, Indiana. He has been better than his word and as I write this column on Halloween, I boldly predict the Hoosiers will be 9-0 after they beat Michigan State 34 to 23 at East Lansing, Michigan the day after tomorrow. I realize both the score and the total outcome could be different than what I assert, but that’s why they call them predictions.

I wish Coaches John Pont, Lee Corso and Tom Allen were going to be there to join in the celebration but I know they will be there with spirit and support; Peg and I certainly will be. As I have not been on campus as a student since 1970 and the Cream and Crimson have not had this kind of success since the 1967-1968 season, all Indiana fans now have something to cheer. I could tell when ESPN’s GameDay was at Bloomington before last week’s game, the student body was totally exhilarated.

I am confident that Coach Cignetti has been eagerly awaiting my analysis and game input. Perhaps he’s having a difficult time finding my phone number in Osage County, Oklahoma. If I had not had an accident at our small ranch earlier this week, Peg and I could attend the game and be available with advice.

I’m going to keep this column short as my minor accident while working around our place makes it difficult to write. That’s why I’m dictating this column to Peg; she always corrects them anyway. We will be parked in front of the television Saturday making sure that the Coaches know we are available if they need a quick fix. Our disciplined team will stay alert to the damage that penalties and turnovers cause; we do not expect to see many of either.

♫ “….
Never daunted, we cannot falter
In the battle, we’re tried and true
Indiana, Our Indiana
Indiana, we’re all for you. IU!” ♫

 

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Filed Under: Events, Females/Pick on Peg, Football, Gavel Gamut, Indiana University Tagged With: Coach Curt Cignetti, ESPN GaveDay, football, Hoosiers, Indiana University, IU, James M. Redwine, Jim Redwine, John Pont, Lee Corso, Tom Allen

Eternal Life

January 12, 2024 by Peg Leave a Comment

The ultimate human dream has always been to live forever. But, for those of us who have lived into the stage where passion and perambulation are less ascendent than relief from aches and the need for mobility enhancement devices, it may sometimes feel as if forever is not so attractive. However, most of us at all stages of life are not eager to test the alternative. Ergo, for most, to exist is preferable than to not. So, we humans spend a great deal of time searching for the elusive mythical secret to a life without end. Of course, when we envision eternal life, we are likely to see ourselves in a pre-serpent Garden of Eden rather than a Prometheus chained to a rock as an eagle devours our liver each day forever. Or we might mine for answers where we Americans have often looked, the movies. The 1967 cult classic, The Graduate, comes to mind.

In The Graduate Benjamin Braddock, played by Dustin Hoffman, is a recent college graduate who does not worry about eternity but is more concerned about what he should do with the rest of his young life. But Anne Bancroft in the role of middle-aged Mrs. Robinson seeks to extend her youth by seducing the clueless Hoffman. However, the real secret to Benjamin’s future and the whole world’s comes from the actor Walter Brooks who plays middle-aged businessman, Mr. Maguire, who confidentially whispers the one word answer to Benjamin: “PLASTICS”. In 1967 we did not recognize the prescient advice of Mr. Maguire. A mere six years later the first plastic soft drink bottle would be invented and released upon our planet.

Gentle Reader, these thoughts came creeping into my head when I found on the internet (what could go wrong?) reports of scientists discovering consumable plastic in almost every source of water we humans drink everywhere on earth. According to researchers at Columbia University plastic in bottled water, “[M]ay raise notable apprehensions regarding human health”. Well, my analysis is, as Coach Lee Corso might say, “Not so fast”. What if we who have created plastic are now having our cells replaced with it? If our planet is being inundated by never decomposing material that is also invading our DNA, is there an opportunity here? And we know plastic lasts forever as we cannot go anywhere without stumbling over a plastic container thrown away by some insensitive jerk fifty years ago.

We have already opened Pandora’s Box so why not channel Pollyanna and turn our attention to how gradually replacing our cells with plastic infused water might enable us to be as environmentally impervious to time as that first plastic soft drink bottle invented by DuPont Corporation engineer, Nathaniel Wyeth, in 1973. Whatever happened to Nathanial whose uncle was the lover of nature, painter Andrew Wyeth?

It looks like that no matter what we say we want we humans are willing to replace all of nature with plastic. Therefore, I suggest we should now replace those pesky Greek gods who punished Prometheus and Pandora with A.I. Surely if A.I. can beat humans at chess and solve the Rubik’s Cube faster than humans can down a Coca-Cola, A.I. can be coaxed into finding a way for us to transform our plasticized drinking water into an Elysian libation that will preserve our bodies forever.

As for me, I had such a tough time with college physics that I became a judge. So, I must leave the details of eternal life to those A.I. geniuses who are most likely in India or Dubai. For now, I will do my part by eschewing soft drinks for beer that still comes in glass bottles.

 

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Filed Under: America, Gavel Gamut, Personal Fun Tagged With: A.I., bottled water, Columbia University, Dustin Hoffman, eternal life, Garden of Eden, Gentle Reader, James M. Redwine, Jim Redwine, Lee Corso, Pandora's box, plasticized drinking water, Plastics, Rubik's Cube, The Graduate

Merry Christmases!!

December 22, 2023 by Peg Leave a Comment

Batumi, Georgia. Photo by Peg Redwine

Last year (2022-2023) Peg and I were in the country of Georgia on Christmas Day (December 25th). However, when we wished some of our Georgian friends “Merry Christmas”, they said as Coach Lee Corso might have said, “Not so fast”. Many Christians in that one-time Soviet Union country do not adhere to Pope Julius’ date for Jesus’ birthday as December 25, but also celebrate the Gregorian date in 2023 of January 07. Many Georgians recognize both dates and the “Christmas Season” for many others runs from December 25 of one year through the first week of January of the next.

The beautiful city of Batumi, Georgia where we worked for six months with Georgian judges was right on the Black Sea and was decorated with colored lights and yuletide trees. The streets were filled with festive shoppers and frequent carolers for two weeks as our Georgian friends showered us with home-grown wines and baklava; I was pleased to see the Christians championing the marvelous Muslim delicacies as a Christmas tradition.

Pope Julian I’s term was 337 to 352 and Pope Gregory’s was 540 to 604. They both instituted a calendar with Julian’s arbitrary date of December 25 for Christ’s birth not being contested by Gregory, but due to the new method of calculating days of the year, the date for Christmas migrated to January 7. If you are fascinated by the vagaries of how this all worked, you probably need to get out more. All Peg and I cared about was after years of only having one Christmas we now had two with Advent gaining about another two weeks. I hope Santa Claus can keep up in 2023/2024.

I have already let it be known that I am expecting gifts on both December 25, 2023 and January 7, 2024. Also, I hope that with the expansion of the Holiday Season the NCAA will finally open up the bowl season for all college football teams, not just those who have won 6 games or more. We only have 43 college football bowl games involving 86 schools now. So, if we let the other 46 or so Division I colleges play we could have another 23 bowl games between December 25 and January 07. It would certainly be better than having to watch the national news. Besides, my alma mater, Indiana University, would get to play a bowl game then.

Anyway, Peg and I say to our Georgian friends (and also to our American friends), Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night, good night!

A Selfie in Batumi, Georgia

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Filed Under: America, Football, Friends, Gavel Gamut, Personal Fun, Travel Tagged With: Batumi, Black Sea, Christmas, football, Georgia, Indiana University, James M. Redwine, Jim Redwine, Lee Corso, NCAA bowl season, Pope Gregory, Pope Julius

A Trap For Fools

April 20, 2018 by Peg 3 Comments

When I set out to trap whatever varmints were stealing our cat’s food I felt confident. After all, I was pretty sure my adversaries were not members of any “… well-regulated militia” nor graduates of any accredited educational institutions nor associated with any liberal or right-wing political groups. I, on the other hand, have had experience surviving struggles with all of these.

As to a well-regulated militia, the United States Air Force should qualify no matter what our U.S. Army soldier son thinks and Indiana University is respected if football is not considered. When it comes to the mish-mash of current political “thought”, I have managed to avoid or ignore the clanging vapidness of extremists on all sides.

Anyway, I counted myself as at least equal to raccoons, opossums, skunks and our only neighbors’ straying house pets. But as coach and television sports analyst Lee Corso might say, “Not so fast, Jim”. Apparently in the war of wits between the purloining pests I am not sufficiently armed.

A few weeks ago when I finally figured out our once feral cat was upset his morning meal kept going missing I contacted my friend Paul Axton who is a Department of Natural Resources Officer. Paul brought me out a trap and showed me how to use it; this took some patience on his part.

As instructed I baited it with giant marshmallows (who knew?) and set it beside the cat’s food tray. My first and only catch was our cat. He was not amused and still tries to claw my hand when I put his food out.

The way this trap is supposed to work one baits it and when a thief enters the trap seeking a marshmallow a metal plate is tripped by the weight of the animal and the only door falls behind it. Unfortunately, our cat is the only animal dumb enough for this to work. On the other hand, perhaps I have furnished enough marshmallows to whatever stealthy animal miscreant is gorging itself on sugar it will catch diabetes. However, it is probably more likely to die laughing at my efforts as it dines at my expense.

What this whole imbroglio brings to my mind is one of my favorite poems by Rudyard Kipling entitled If. One of the lines goes something like this (apologies to Kipling):

If you can bear to see
your plans twisted by
varmints to make a trap
for fools …

 

I guess one just has to determine what fool is being trapped.

p.s.     I know I have written about this before, but I figure no one reads these columns anyway and I am really ticked off; I need the therapy.

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Filed Under: Gavel Gamut, Indiana University, JPeg Ranch, Personal Fun Tagged With: a trap for fools, Department of Natural Resources Officer, feral cat, giant marshmallows, graduate of accredited education institution, Indiana University, James M. Redwine, Jim Redwine, Lee Corso, liberal or right-wing political group, mish-mash of current political thought, opossums, Paul Axton, raccoons, Rudyard Kipling poem entitled If, skunks, stealing our cat's food, straying house pets, U.S. Army soldier, United States Air Force, varmints, well-regulated militia

© 2025 James M. Redwine

 

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