Columns
When Pigs Die, Hopefully
The nine-banded armadillos, the species we now have in Oklahoma, began to migrate across the Rio Grande from Mexico into Texas in the mid-1800’s. They then began to waddle on north with the first documented sighting in southern Oklahoma being in 1936. I had never seen an armadillo until the late 1960’s and then only rarely as road kill, sometimes with a Coors beer can propped up in its dead paws.
Armadillos are generally about 2 ½ feet long and weigh about 12 pounds. They look like an elongated pig that is covered with scaly armor. Each adult female can produce one egg that separates into 4 young. Their front feet have 4 claws, their back feet have 5 claws and they reportedly taste like pork. I cannot verify this. I do have a friend who claims they are delectable. He ignores their reputation for carrying leprosy.
As for me and Peg, we consider armadillos to be nasty rodents that dig numerous large holes in our property that we must avoid or bump over as we mow or walk. We currently have neither horses nor cattle but our neighboring ranches on all sides do and complain that armadillo holes are a danger to livestock.
Years ago, I started out trapping then eliminating them. I do not ascribe to the school that traps varmints then releases them onto other peoples’ environments to be their problems. However, I now just skip the trapping stage and sit on our veranda in the evening with a loaded shotgun. Sometimes I actually am successful in my mission but have frequently found to my embarrassment, the prehistoric prey eludes my unfriendly intent. I often end the evening with the disquieting feeling the armadillos are sitting around their dens exchanging amusing anecdotes about how they have drawn me in then artfully dodged my feeble aim.
Perhaps what I should do is follow the advice of B.F. Skinner and change my approach from one of negative disincentives to a psychology based on positive reinforcement. I may just invite my armadillo eating friend to come to the Happy Armadillo Hunting Ground of JPeg Osage Ranch. Bon Appetit!
Existential Threats
An existential risk, in general, is one that could cause the collapse of human civilization, such as nuclear war. An existential risk to democracy is one that could bring about the collapse of individual liberty, such as fascism. This is the theme of The New Republic magazine cover that morphs Donald Trump’s face into Hitler’s. It is, also, the theme of numerous politicians and cable news commentators who have called Trump an existential threat to our American democracy and called for him to be stopped at all costs. Twenty-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks gave up his own life to try.
In like manner, many politicians and cable news commentators have asserted Joe Biden is corrupt in his personal life and, as president, he has “weaponized” his Justice Department against his political opponents and must be ousted from office. He has been demonized as “Crooked Joe” and vilified as a threat to our democracy due to his advancing age. Although many of us also feel Father Time creeping around.
Some supporters of Biden and some supporters of Trump are indistinguishable in their vociferously clanging brass, or as Ecclesiastes, Ch. 9, v. 17 might say their “… shouting of ruler(s) among fools.” What we need instead are, “The words of the wise heard in quiet ….”
But America may have been blessed with the curse of a near miss on July 13, 2024 when former President Trump somehow survived an assassination attempt and gave both Trump and Biden and their supporters one of life’s greatest and rarest gifts, another chance. And America, itself, would be the beneficiary if we do not squander it.
Biden and Trump are neither one dogs but they might want to reflect on some more wisdom from Ecclesiastes, “But he who is joined with all the living has hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion,” Ch. 9, v. 4. In other words, even though both men are old they still have the opportunity to go out like lions if they choose wise leadership over foolish rhetoric and actions. Instead of speaking and acting like petulant children they should follow First Corinthians, Ch. 13, v. 11, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” And all it took was one near miss for both of them to have the chance to finally grow up.
Former President Trump is the one who was shot and survived, but Biden is intrinsically entwined by circumstances with Trump’s fate and fortune. Much like many paired adversaries, the fate of one is the fate of both. And Biden is being “shot at” by his own Democrat Party that is pressuring him to simply give up “for the good of the country.” Of course, if instead of standing up and fighting Biden steps aside, whoever replaces him will come from the ranks of those who have also ascribed to the assertions that Trump is an existential threat. Regardless, for now both Biden and Trump are the candidates and just as all of us, they have had that ever present gnawing thought in the middle of the night, “Why didn’t I do or say that differently? Oh, how I wish I had the chance to change what I said or did.” Well, Trump and Biden do now have that chance. They both, even as elderly public servants, have been given the golden gift of an unexpected chance to re-make their personal and public personas. They could take their guidance from that great philosopher, William Shakespeare, whose Prince Hal put off juvenile behavior and clothed himself in royal responsibility. As King Henry, the onetime feckless rogue made himself into a great leader of England upon his father’s death and astonished his people:
“… he (Prince Hal) may be more wondered at by breaking through the foul and ugly mists of vapors that did seem to strangle him.
”Henry IV, Part I, scene II.
Of course, one person will win in November, but whoever the candidates may be they both can rise above the current ad hominem viciousness and provide our country with hope, guidance, wisdom and leadership. Most of us will not get a reprieve from life for our sins and bad judgments. But occasionally life does shoot-at-someone-and miss. Say a cancer diagnosis that turns out to take years instead of days or an unexpected heart attack that we survive. How we respond determines how we expend the rest of our lives and how our family and friends evaluate whether we are honorable in our second chance behavior.
When it comes to Donald and Joe, they now, even at or near 80, have the totally unexpected chance to modify their behavior, and in doing so, help save their country. Such a rare treasure should not be squandered on the shoals of egotistical ambition. Perhaps when each of them awakes in the middle of the night now they will say to themselves, “Thank you for this once in a life-time totally unexpected opportunity.” Then each might become the leader even their opponent did not expect.
Independence Day Jeopardy
John Adams, our second president, and Thomas Jefferson, our third president, were great friends who became estranged for years but reconciled before they both died on July 4, 1826. Each was an attorney who championed individual liberty and civil rights. Adams believed the date of America’s birth was July 2, 1776, the date the Continental Congress voted for independence. Jefferson thought our birthday was July 4, 1776, the date the Declaration of Independence was signed. Both Founding Fathers declared we should celebrate our founding with special activities.
Jefferson was the first president to host a July 4 commemoration at the White House. Jefferson wrote about Independence Day, “For ourselves, let the annual return of this day forever refresh our recollections of these rights, and an undiminished devotion to them.”
Adams sent a letter to his wife Abigail on July 3, 1776 in which he declaimed:
“I am apt to believe that it (July 2, 1776) will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival.
…
It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews (shows), Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illumination from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more.”
My family, and most likely yours too Gentle Reader, have carried out these patriotic demands for as long as we have been fortunate enough to do so. For more than the past twenty years my family has gathered around July 4 and reveled in the wonder of the United States of America by engaging in a hotly contested Independence Jeopardy game.
This year our son Jim portrayed Benjamin Franklin, my nephews Dennis and David Redwine, donned the colonial frocks of Uncle Sam and George Washington and teams of relatives vied to earn the Independence Day Jeopardy championship. The competition was fierce and only barbeque and copious desserts could assuage those who came in out of first.
It is always good to get our large and close-knit family together, especially over a hotly contested game of colonial history. It is of special meaning in our current atmosphere of political upheaval to remind ourselves what truly matters. So, happy birthday to all of us whether you agree with Adams or Jefferson or choose some other special time around our founding in the first week of July, 1776.
The Debate
Last Thursday the world had the opportunity to catch a 90-minute glimpse of our nation’s two likely presidential candidates. As 51 million others, I thought it my citizen’s duty to tune in, although Peg and I considered getting a couple of chores done around JPeg Osage Ranch instead. We should have done the chores.
When it comes to politics I tend to concentrate on my own personal experiences and pay less attention to the behavior of other candidates. For example, my first political campaign involvement was on behalf of my boss who was the Vanderburgh County, Indiana Prosecuting Attorney. The year was 1972 and I was an appointed, part-time deputy prosecuting attorney. I was married, had a son and needed the job. However, I really did think my boss was a good and honorable office holder and I eagerly accepted his “invitation” to go out early on election day and put up signs for him.
One of my colleagues on the staff was another idealistic young deputy prosecuting attorney who was teamed up with me. Neither of us knew anything about our boss’s opponent but we did fear he probably would not ask us to stay on if he won. My friend was also married with two children. Our enthusiasm was real.
The evening before election day we met at the office and made about 50 signs touting our boss and his political party. We did not make any mention of his adversary. Then at 7:00 a.m. the next morning we loaded the signs in my old car and headed for a large inner-city precinct; the polls had opened at 6:00 a.m.
When we arrived in our only three-piece dark suits, white shirts and black ties we eagerly jumped out of the car carrying two signs each. We were happy to be working to preserve our jobs while engaging in the great democratic experience.
As we approached the polling place a very large woman approached us with fire in her eyes and flame on her tongue and screamed at us, “Are you from party headquarters?” Neither of us had ever been to any party headquarters, but, before we could respond she loudly demanded, “You better get some money out here, these people ain’t voting right!”
My fellow traveler and I, both of whom had prosecutorial powers, quickly grabbed our signs with our boss’s name and party name on them, and hustled back to my car. I took my co-political operative home and I went to my home and cogitated over my many ethically oriented philosophical political discussions. But we just returned to work the next day glad we still had jobs.
One thing my first political experience did for me was it jaded me about many aspects of our great democracy. I am far less likely to just accept what I see and hear from any of our politicians and certainly hardly anything I see and hear from the news people who observe their behavior and analyze their motives.
Whose Birthday Is It?
As I write this column the Weather App on my cell phone says the actual temperature is 98 degrees Fahrenheit with a heat index making it feel like 108 degrees. There is no breeze but that’s okay. If there were, it would simply baste our skin as though we were a slow crusting brisket. I ask you, Gentle Reader, “Why July Fourth?” Does not each of the twelve months have a Fourth? For example, the merry month of May or the crisp, invigorating month of October each has a perfectly good Fourth. And neither has a heat index of 108 degrees! Were our Founding Fathers so fond of their wool frock coats they were impervious to July’s guarantee of a reprise of Joan of Arc’s demise? What was Thomas Jefferson thinking as his Sons of Liberty compatriots dumped the tea into Boston’s Harbor on December 16, 1773? Why not fire off his written volleys against King George III then, when it was cool?
Our rhetorical path today is an examination of the date of our country’s birthday and how we might celebrate it each year without getting suntan lotion and sweaty grit mixed into our barbeque. To me the solution is as simple as the whole country ignoring the gamesmanship of celebrating George Washington’s and Abraham Lincoln’s birthdays not on February 22 and February 12 as we did all of my school years. Why, with the stroke of a Congressional pen, voila, we now have President’s Day every year on the third Monday in February! I say, hooray! Now how about the Fourth of …?
Many people throughout the world have celebrated the presumed birthday of Jesus. Yet, no one truly knows for sure when Jesus was born. We do know over the past 2,000 years more than one date has been chosen for Christ’s date of birth. For example, many people in Europe celebrate Christmas on January 07 because they follow the Julian calendar set by Julius Caesar in 46 B.C.
However, in 1582 Pope Gregory developed his calendar. The Julian Calendar and the Gregorian Calendar each gave a different day for Christmas. One was on the 24th or 25th of December and the other gave January 07. Does it matter? Apparently not. I say if the world can pick an arbitrary date for the birth of Jesus, we can re-set the birth of America to a friendlier clime. I respectfully suggest October 04 every year starting in 2025.
On a personal topic, one of my earlier Gavel Gamut columns drew the thoughtful attention of a reader, Mr. Jerry Butterbaugh. Mr. Butterbaugh, thank you for taking the time to read the column and thank you for your interesting perspective. You respectfully presented a different point of view without casting aspersions. Would that our beloved country as a whole could discuss our many serious issues in the same manner. Your points were clear and helpful. I appreciate them.
Also, since my wife Peg is about the only reader I can consistently rely upon, and that only because she has to type and post them, your response was most welcome.
Founding Documents
Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry signed House Bill 71 into law Wednesday, 17 June 2024. Governor Landry stated, “If you want to respect the rule of law you gotta start from the original law giver which was Moses, … he got his commandments from God.” Louisiana HB 71 decrees that every public school in Louisiana and every non-public school that receives state funds shall display the Ten Commandments in every building and every classroom it uses.
HB 71 sets forth its version of the Ten Commandments that must be displayed as follows:
“The Ten Commandments
I AM the Lord thy God.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven images.
Thou shall not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Thou shalt not kill.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Thou shalt not steal.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his cattle, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s.”
Louisiana schools may expend public money to install the documents or may solicit or accept donations for those purposes. The Bill makes no attempt to discuss the contents of these provisions nor does the Louisiana Legislature explain why it posits the Ten Commandments played any role in forming the law of the United States.
However, the imminent philosopher of myth and law, Joseph Campbell, explained how our Founders looked to the Enlightenment for guidance, not to the Bible or any religion:
“Now let us ask: what about the symbolism of the Bible? Based on the Old Sumerian astronomical observations of five to six thousand years ago and an anthropology no longer credible, it is hardly fit today to turn anybody on.
In fact, the famous conflict of science and religion has actually nothing to do with religion, but is simply of two sciences: that of 4000 B.C. and that of A.D. 2000.
….
The Biblical image of the universe simply won’t do anymore; neither will the Biblical notion of a race of God, which all others are meant to serve (Isaiah 49:22-23; 61: 5-6, etc.) nor again, the idea of a code of laws delivered from on high and to be valid for all time
….
The problems of our world are not even touched by those stone-cut Ten Commandments that we carry about as luggage and which, in fact, were disregarded in the blessed text itself, one chapter after they were announced (Exodus 21:12-17, following 20:13).”
Campbell goes on to explain how our modern legal world is not and cannot be based on religion:
“The modern Western concept of a legal code is not of a list of unassailable divine edicts, but of a rationally contrived, evolving compilation of statutes, shaped by fallible beings in council, to realize rationally recognized social (and therefore temporal) aims.”
Joseph Campbell, Myths to Live By, 1972,
ISBN 0 14 019.461 4, at pp. 88-89.
Or as political commentator James Carville more succinctly and prosaically stated about the HB 71and similar legislation, “It is the dumbest waste of time I’ve ever seen in my life!”