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The Armadillos Cometh

May 17, 2019 by Jim Leave a Comment

Last week Peg and I drove down I-44 from the eastern edge of Missouri to the eastern edge of Oklahoma. We observed the remains of a few deer, several opossums, one or two raccoons and over one hundred dead armadillos on the roadside. The normal final position of an armadillo was on its scaled back with its clawed paws stuck straight up. Occasionally a beer can would be nestled among the claws. Frequently the carcasses were totally flat. This phenomenon occurred so often it became obvious people went out of their way to squash the critters. Such a violent reaction to the mere existence of the armadillos becomes understandable if one should have to deal with the creatures on a daily basis.

Gentle Reader, you probably grew up as I did encountering an armadillo only when you wandered through northern Mexico or, perhaps, southern Arizona, New Mexico, Texas or California. I recall being amused by the resemblance to something akin to a roly-poly dinosaur. And the sightings were so rare I was excited to come across one of the adorable little oddities of nature.

It was not until the beginning of the 21st century that I began to notice the evermore prevalent incursions of armadillos as they have migrated north, east and west. Peg, who was born in New York and reared in Indiana by way of Massachusetts, used to be amazed at the “little armored ones” as named by Spanish speaking peoples in South America. In fact, as we arrived last week to our cabin in North-East Oklahoma we almost ran over an armadillo waddling along the lane to our door.

“Oh, Jim, look, we have our very own armadillo!” I kept my thoughts to myself but they involved a shotgun.

The day after we arrived Peg was all excited to go to Lowe’s and purchase about $300.00 worth of plants such as herbs, vegetables and flowers. She worked all of one day planting, watering and protecting them from rabbits and deer with special fencing. Actually, Peg instructed me in this regard. Regardless, when we checked on the plants the next day every one had been clawed up by a “cute” armadillo looking for grubs, ants and worms.

Peg’s response was about like one might expect when asking Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi how much she planned to contribute to President Donald Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign. As this article will appear in several family-oriented newspapers I shall not quote Peg’s actual words other than the part where she asked, “Where’s your shotgun?”

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Filed Under: Females/Pick on Peg, Gavel Gamut, Oklahoma, Presidential Campaign, Texas Tagged With: 2020 presidential campaign, Arizona, armadillos, California, Donald Trump, Gentle Reader, I-44, Indiana, James M. Redwine, Jim Redwine, little armored ones, Massachusetts, Mexico, Missouri, Nancy Pelosi, New Mexico, New York, Oklahoma, shotgun, South America, Texas

Parallel Universes

September 29, 2016 by Jim Leave a Comment

Peg’s mom gave us her small Florida condo when she decided to move back to Indiana. It is part of a retirement complex where owners must be over 55 years of age; we qualify. For about 20 years we have spent part of the Christmas holidays at the condo. I remember our first trips there. We drove down non-stop (19 hours) and came back the same way. It now takes us at least 2 extra days. Those first few years we filled each day with trips to the beach, sightseeing, miles of walking on golf courses and many hours of swimming. We frequented sports bars where we watched college football games late into the night while noshing on burgers and fries washed down with draft beer.

We met other snowbirds from New York, Massachusetts, Canada and the mid-west who enjoyed getting away from the condo complex and engaging in dancing, dining and conversations about sports, politics and contemporary music. Those folks have remained friends for years.

During this same period Peg and I have attended my high school reunions which are held every 5 years in Oklahoma. Twenty years ago there was a live band playing Beatles songs. This past weekend there was one guy doing an Elvis impersonation. He was quite convincing. Whereas twenty years ago and several times in between everyone danced and shouted out the lyrics, this year people sat and listened politely while occasionally tapping their toes.

Over the years the reunions have included alumni football games, trips to local ranches for beer and barbeque and an occasional reprise of high school rivalries between contesting classmates. This year we met for a buffet of soft food and iced tea accompanied by a few announcements about the classmates who either could no longer be with us or who have retired to Florida.

Peg and I are looking forward to seeing some of those friends and our other Florida acquaintances this Christmas. We plan to sit around the pool and talk about the weather as we enjoy some lemonade. It will be exhilarating!

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Filed Under: Football, Gavel Gamut, Indiana, Oklahoma, Personal Fun Tagged With: barbecue, beach, Beatles songs, beer, Canada, Christmas holidays, college football games, Elvis impersonation, Florida condo, golf courses, high school rivalries, Indiana, Massachusetts, mid-west, New York, Oklahoma, retirement complex, sightseeing, snowbirds, sports bars, swimming

© 2020 James M. Redwine

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