James M. Redwine

Super Bowl

Bad Bunny vs. Bad Donnie

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Our version of a Puerto Rican cane field; a corn field in Posey County, Indiana. Photo by Peg Redwine

Metaphors are never perfect. If they were, they would be identical copies, not learning opportunities. A more perfect metaphor for Donald Trump’s vision of America versus Bad Bunny’s vision of how Donnie treats Puerto Rico would have had the New York Jets play the Seattle “Sharks” in the 2026 Super Bowl. This would have left no doubt of the half-time show message. My northeast coast bred wife, Peg, said about five minutes into the spectacular production of telephone poles, sugar cane bundles and salsa rhythms, “Hey, Jim, this is West Side Story!”

With my small-town Southwest upbringing I got it a little more slowly, but I had to agree. Donald Trump’s MAGA view of America (the white Jets) was juxtaposed to Benito Antonio Martinez Ocasio’s Puerto Rico (the Sharks). Themes of immigration, bias, and what America is truly about were punctuated by throbbing music and ecstatic dancing. In less than fifteen minutes, Bad Bunny celebrated the culture of the United States and of Puerto Rico and Spanish speaking peoples, including soccer, but reaffirmed America’s triumphant football talisman by personally carrying a “real” football.

Bad Bunny has stated that the only thing stronger than hate is love. He described his “fifteen minutes of half-time fame” as the desire for Americans to conquer hate with love, especially through music and dancing. Bunny, dressed all in white, joined that endless legacy of dreamers such as Jesus, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and our Founding Fathers (and Mothers) who advance the hope that love will conquer hate. I am less sanguine, but it is probably better to keep an open mind even in the face of thousands of years of contrary evidence.

I am familiar with Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story but confess I had never heard of Bad Bunny until Super Bowl LX. On the other hand, I had never heard of Taylor Swift until she started showing up at Kansas City Chiefs games. I do know a few songs by that earlier “Elvis the Pelvis” who drove my generation’s parents to distraction and to whom Bad Bunny is compared for what the Donald calls Bunny’s pornographic movements and song lyrics (does Donald even understand Spanish?). Although, if anyone should recognize pornography it might be someone judged by a jury with sexual assault. Unfortunately, the endings for both Romeo and Juliet and for Tony and Maria were not love conquering hate but tragedy.

If football is America’s new substitute for great literature, the Super Bowl half-time show may have become the type of looking glass through which we see and seize our country’s future. Will we celebrate another 250 years of our Constitutional republic and a striving for what even our most mundane athletic contests offer: Due Process and the Rule of Law as interpreted by impartial officials? Or will we finally have reached the final gun as so many other cultures have done? Bad Bunny says he is betting on love while Donald proudly professes hate for his enemies.

If sports are a metaphor for our country’s life, Super Bowl LX’s half-time show with its “Love conquers all” message may draw upon the “Better Angels of our nature”. Hey, it could happen.

 

Sour Grapes

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A plethora of professional football, a cornucopia of college football and, most importantly, the hallowed echoes of high school football. Thanksgiving brings out the America our Founders dreamed of, “A more perfect union”. One where the battles almost never involve fatal blows but where due process on the field requires impartial officials, the Judiciary (?), involved and spirited fans, citizens (?), teams with different positions, players and coaches who are leaders and standard bearers for the hopes of countless constituencies, fans (?).

Peg and I almost surfeited on football last week but our stomachs have about recovered from gastronomical excess and our eyes and seats are ready for more football. Unfortunately, we are already ruing the long, dark journey from February until the fall of 2026. Ah well, we do have a few other things to attend to. And the memories of this season and seasons past will sustain us until then. For example, my favorite Thanksgiving Day football game occurred during my senior year of high school in 1960. I have carefully and constantly rearranged that game, especially the role of my favorite seventeen-year-old player in the outcome.

Photo by Peg Redwine

I was a linebacker who was not particularly gifted in the speed department. All right, I was on defense because my time in the forty was not clocked, but calendared. On the other hand, as I was a catcher on the baseball team, I was fairly adroit at retrieving fumbles; I just did not usually advance them.

Anyway, as I relive that glorious Thursday afternoon in November of 1960, I see myself clutching a blocked punt from our opponent. Only an uncharitable observer would have pointed out that my teammate actually blocked the punt. Regardless, when the football bounced into my arms, I took off like a lightning bolt for the goal line fifty-one yards away, my player number on the team. Mercury could not have caught me.

The next day the newspaper showed why people dislike the media. My heroic touchdown was described thusly, “Jim Redwine, reputedly the slowest player on the team, lugged the ball over the goal line”. That is why my football career ended in high school.

However, Peg and I still plan to cheer on Indiana and Oklahoma University teams as they conquer the playoffs, cheer on Army in the Army Navy game, watch every single college bowl game late into the nights of January then end the season with the Super Bowl in February. Who knows, with coaches making more money than Croesus, maybe some school will hire me to coach linebackers on how not to run.

Photo by Peg Redwine

Not So Fast Chiefs

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On Monday morning, February 19, 2024 as Kansas City Chiefs football coach Andy Reid was savoring his team’s Super Bowl victory along with his third breakfast pastry, team Executive Officer Clark Hunt hurried into Reid’s office and presented him with a legal notice from one Trump-appointed Federal District Judge in San Francisco, the sole Republican in California. Coach Reid read the following Petition as his blood pressure soared:

“All persons affiliated in any way with the National Football League team the Kansas City Chiefs are ordered to immediately Cease and Desist claiming victory in Super Bowl LVIII pending a Score Recalculation Petition filed by the San Francisco 49ers in this Court by its CEO Jed York.

The Petition alleges there was and is an on-going conspiracy involving certain persons connected with members of the Chiefs organization, the game officials and the replay technicians, to make it falsely appear that an extra point try by 49er kicker Jake Moody was blocked by Leo Chenal of the Chiefs. This AI-created illusion resulted in the 49ers’ regulation time score being a 3-point lead instead of 4. The one-point differential allowed the Chiefs to tie the game with a field goal and send it to overtime where the Chiefs prevailed with a touchdown.

The cabal’s illusion was created with Russia’s new space satellite that was ostensibly launched to monitor American satellites. However, thanks to U.S. Congressman Mike Turner who chairs the House Intelligence Committee, it was publicly disclosed that Russia had conspired with megastar Taylor Swift and Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce to steal the Super Bowl for the Chiefs so that Swift could use the largest TV audience since the moon landing to endorse Joe Biden for President.

This conspiracy was exposed by Presidential Candidate Donald Trump who had received a telephone call from Tucker Carlson after he met with Russia’s Vladimir Putin the week before the Super Bowl and was told by Putin of the plan. Trump had attempted to warn the world of the nefarious plot, but as he had cried wolf about the stolen election of 2020 so often his statements were discounted by every media outlet except FOX News.

Regardless, to ensure the Constitutional right of every American to worship freely at the shrine of NFL football, until Congress can fully investigate the possibility of a clear and present danger to America, this Court orders the Chiefs, what the heck, I’ll just make my Order apply to everyone everywhere, to Cease and Desist from claiming the Kansas City Chiefs won Super Bowl LVIII. Any violation of this Order may incur the wrath of this Court and a finding of Contempt.

Surely, Elon Musk and his Artificial Intelligence compatriots can have an answer to this vital issue before the next Super Bowl. In the meantime, this Court will closely monitor this case until after November, 2024.”

Femme Fatales

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Photo by Peg Redwine

William Shakespeare is the English language’s greatest writer, in part, because he was our greatest psychologist. No one understood and used irony as did Shakespeare. Hamlet, with Shakespeare’s tongue firmly planted in his cheek, laments, “Frailty thy name is woman”. Hamlet who is the unquestioned definition of vacillation, “To be or not to be,” is casting shade upon his mother, Gertrude. Gertrude was complicit and conspired in the murder of her husband, Hamlet’s father also named Hamlet, the King of Denmark, so she could marry his younger brother, Claudius. Gertrude also helped Claudius defeat her son’s rightful claim to inherit the crown. Hamlet, Act 1, scene ii.

But the first woman to conspire to lead mankind down the primrose path to destruction was Eve, Genesis, Chapter III, vs 1-24. Thanks to Eve’s perfidy with the serpent, Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, women were assigned the pain of childbirth and we all lost eternal life. However, there are many who agree with Mark Twain who wrote in his book Pudd’nhead Wilson:

“Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.”

Then we have nefarious Delilah, Book of Judges, Chapter 16, vs 4-31, who as an agent of the Philistines in Gaza, wheedled out from Samson the secret to his great strength then set him up to be weakened and blinded. In World War I the Germans used Margaretha Geertruida Zelle (Mata Hari) to spy on the Allies. She was executed in 1917. Also, Tokyo Rose (Iva Ikuko Toguri D’Aquino) and Axis Sally (Mildred Sisk) sought to dispirit the Allied soldiers in the Pacific and Europe in World War II.

Perhaps the most famous conspirator against her country was Helen of Troy. According to Homer in the Iliad, Helen betrayed her husband, King Menelaus of Sparta, by eloping with Paris, a son of King Priam of Troy. Helen’s misguided loss of control, “Launched a thousand ships” and led to a long war between Greece and Troy.

By now, Gentle Reader, you have noticed a pattern of female conspirators who used their womanly wiles to bring about disasters. What my wife, Peg, and my sister, Jane, who proofed this column pointed out was the author of Gavel Gamut and all those who “documented” the sins of the distaff conspirators were male. My rejoinder to Peg and Janie is, “The facts are the facts and pointing them out does not, in and of itself, show evidence of misogyny”.

Therefore, when that paragon of cable news, Jesse Watters, claims Taylor Swift is in league with the Biden government to affect the 2024 presidential election and that Taylor Swift along with Travis Kelce are conspiring to steal Super Bowl LVIII for the Kansas City Chiefs, I say, “So?”

I know there may be a couple of people who could be influenced by Taylor and Travis but would Shakespeare deign to write a plot as convoluted as the Rolling Stone magazine credits right-winger Rogan O’Handley with:

“Far right influencer Rogan O’Handley went so far as to suggest that if the (Kansas City) Chiefs won the Super Bowl, Swift and Kelce would trigger an apocalyptic chain of events that would kill millions. ‘You MUST defeat the Chiefs’, O’Handley wrote in an X post addressed to the San Francisco 49ers. ‘If you don’t, Mr. Pfizer (Travis Kelce) and his girlfriend (Taylor Swift) are going to tour the country as world champions helping elect Joe Biden. WW3 will likely follow in a 2nd Biden term and millions will die. The fate of the free world rests upon your shoulders.’”

Of course, Mr. O’Handley was probably just writing from the perspective of a 49er fanatic in the same ironic/sarcastic vein as most who are having fun with the Taylor and Travis phenomenon. Unfortunately, in today’s America we often do not afford our cultural adversaries a sense of humor. Therefore, some of the cable news pundits see doomsday via public voyeurism of a private relationship. However, Mr. O’Handley and the rest of the 49er faithful, let me remind you that Joe Montana and Jerry Rice will not be in the San Francisco lineup for this Super Bowl, but Patrick Mahomes and Rashee Rice will be. So, good luck to you.

Now, the fate of the free world may hang in the balance if Taylor and Travis are not prevented from their alleged coup. But there are plenty of other threats to our democracy. So, I say to Travis, GO CHIEFS, and to Taylor, YOU GO GIRL!

Photo by Peg Redwine